Productive Repetition:
lines within lines

Pat Pattison

All that energy repeating something you've already said. Why?

The chorus, in older sheet music, is sometimes called the "singalong." That word speaks volumes. Remember that the word "chorus," by definition, is "many people singing together." That should give you an insight into what a song's chorus should do. If only one person is singing, it's called a "soloist."

If you can write a memorable chorus, you've got something. People will hum it or even sing along. Writing something memorable and repeating it has bought a lot of houses.

Generally speaking, as you write a song, you should be keeping your eye peeled for something you can repeat. Something catchy or emotional. Something profound or funky or something beautifully said. Something people might sing along to.

So how do you know what to repeat? Maybe the words just feel good in your mouth. Maybe there's a lot of internal sound making it easy and fun to sing:

Peaceful Easy Feeling

There can be many reasons to repeat a line or a section, but let's take a look at one big one: the words we repeat stay interesting when we say them again. They gain something more when we repeat them, even gain something more because we repeat them.

Of course, that was the whole message of the chapters on verse development: keep the listener interested and engaged all the way through the song. You already know that the chorus should mean more the second time around. You're already a responsible citizen in the world of chorus repetition. You already practice productive repetition.

The second chorus of "Strawberry Wine" weighs more than the first chorus, because the second verse adds the weight of a fleeting summer romance to the first verse's picture of love on the riverbank. As we sing along, we feel something more than we did the first time. Productive repetition.

The second refrain of "Still Crazy After All These Tears" adds the weight of cynicism and denial to the encounter with an old lover in verse 1. We learn more about what kind of crazy he is, and how deep it runs. Productive repetition.

When we hear the first verse of "Luca" or "Roses Blue" at the ends of the songs, we feel so much more, having learned a lot about the characters through the course of the songs. We know Luca's plight, though we didn't understand it the first time. We finally see the singer's predicament at the end of "Roses Blue." Productive repetition.

In each case, the repetition is productive because it gives the words more weight the second and third times than they had the first time. That's something useful. It keeps your listener interested all the way through the song, and maybe even singing along.

Repetition can work on smaller scales too. Not just when you repeat a section or a line, but inside a line itself.

Watch this, from Joni Mitchell:

In sorrow she can lure you where she wants you
Inside your own self-pity there you swim
In sinking down to drown her voice still haunts you
And only with your laughter can you win
Can you win? Can you win?

Look at:

And only with your laughter can you win
Can you win? Can you win?

By simply isolating and repeating a portion of the line, "can you win," she moves from a declarative sentence into a question, creating new energy, and adding a new idea—in this case, the character's uncertainty whether winning (laughter) is possible.

Think of it as hunting for hidden treasures: learn to start looking at sentences as not just for meaning, but for little pieces of meaning that can be isolated and repeated, giving additional information or emphasis.

Look at this question:

Who do you love?

It starts with one of the interrogative pronouns (who, what, when, where, why, how). It also contains the auxiliary verb "do." What if you drop "who?" You isolate

Do you love?

Now you've got a brand new question. Simply repeat that smaller piece.

Who do you love? Do you love?

You've isolated a part of the sentence and repeated it, giving a new meaning. You can do it with the other interrogative pronouns too:

What do you love? Do you love?
When do I love? Do I love?
Where do you go? Do you go?
Why do you laugh? Do you laugh?
How do you know? Do you know?

The auxiliary verb "do," can also introduce a question. That's what makes it work. You can do the same thing with the past and future tense, "did" and "will:"

Who did you love? Did you love?
What did you try? Did you try?
When did I know? Did I know?
Where did you go? Did you go?
Why did you laugh? Did you laugh?
How did you know? Did you know?

Who will you love? Will you love?
What will you try? Will you try?
When will I know? Will I know?
Where will you go? Will you go?
Why will you laugh? Will you laugh?
How will you know? Will you know?

How about "can, could, should, would," (the subjunctive) with the interrogative pronouns? Yup. Simply delete the pronoun:

Who can you love? Can you love?

Who could you love? Could you love?

Who should you love? Should you love?

Who would you love? Would you love?

(I'll leave it to you to fill out the other interrogative pronouns.)

You can find lots of opportunities for productive repetition. It's easy if you stay alert, as Joni did when she discovered a question inside a statement.

And only with your laughter can you win.
Can you win? Can you win?

Declarative sentences (or "statements") often can be easy prey for productive repetition. If the subject of the sentence is "you," and the verb is present tense, there's usually a command (imperative) lurking, waiting to be isolated.

You tell me that you want me.

Just delete the subject, isolating the verb, and presto, you have a command:

Tell me that you want me

And even:

Want me.

Note that this trick doesn't work in third person, since third person adds an "s" to the verb. You create only simple repetition—no command is isolated: "She tells me that she wants me. Tells me that she wants me. Wants me."

Try it with:

You give me everything I need.

Right.

Give me everything I need.

You can isolate commands from second person questions, for example:

Will you love me?
Love me.

Whenever you are working with present tense verbs, look for the opportunity to repeat, starting from the verb, to create a command. Remember that this technique only works in first person and second person, not third person.

With past or future tense verbs, you can use the infinitive ("to") form of the verb, so the verb can be isolated, creating a present tense command:

Did (past) you want to win my heart? Win my heart.

He loved (past) to walk alone. Walk alone.

Won't (future) you try to walk alone?
Try to walk alone.
Walk alone.

Neat, huh?

When you move from one type of sentence to another, you create an energy boost—it takes the emotion to a new level. Just as a matter of practice, when you're writing a song, stay alert for chances to ask a question or give a command. It'll engage your listener.

In general, simply be alert to the smaller grammatical units in your lines.

Sometimes they can do something really special.
Do something really special.

Would you like to be a better writer?
Be a better writer.