Last March, I sent off a song and a copyright form to the Library of
Congress. Some three weeks later, instead of getting back my copyright
confirmation letter, I received an unsolicited six-page ad from a company
called TAXI and a second solicitation from Amerecord. Although I've
received this kind of solicitation before, this time, I was so outraged
that I called my attorney to see if there was some way I could get my
name and address off of their mailing lists.
advised me that everything submitted to the Library of Congress always
becomes Public Domain, and that was that. Not willing to accept this
advice, I was determined to take action on my own: I wrote a letter
to the Register of Copyrights with a copy going to President Bill Clinton
to be passed on to Tipper Gore, since she likes to keep abreast of goings-on
in the music industry. On March 26th, I wrote some new lyrics to the
tune of "Give My Regards to Broadway", and sent them off with a letter
to both Amerecord and TAXI.
I forgot about the entire situation until TAXI President Michael Laskow
called me. "I sure wish I had the time to sit down and write lyrics",
he began, and away we went. I was bowled over by how nice he was, and
how unlike the President of a scumbag outfit he seemed to be. Soon after,
I wrote him a letter of apology and told him that I might bite the bullet
one day and, if ever I joined anything, it would be TAXI. Finally, on
June 13th, after receiving my second six-page ad, I joined TAXI. Incidentally,
I received a boilerplate letter on excellent stationery from the Copyright
Office that was signed by two people! Talk about wasting money!
I have been
extremely happy in my relationship with TAXI and I feel that with each
critique, my musicianship improves. So when I read about the TAXI Road
Rally, I grabbed the phone. During my checkered career, I have run many
conventions, but thought this one to be the best one I ever attended.
From my vantage point, it went off without a hitch.
On Friday night,
my first indication that the TAXI crowd was pretty hip was when one
performer began his song with a quote from a 17th century Italian art
songand I wasn't the only one who noticed. Alas, for all my listening,
I heard very few performers whose lyrics came through. This was a shame
because the singers must have had something interesting to say. Otherwise,
why write the song, right? Saturday night was no differentit was still
virtually impossible to hear the lyrics. And it wasn't the fault of
the sound systemit was simply sloppy enunciation. When I was able
to understand the lyrics, I noticed that many of them had a narrow,
self-indulgent, personal focusas if a form of therapy. Not universally
appealing enough. Oh, and there was this one guy who insisted on talking
far too loudly both nightsexcept, of course, when he was on stage.
I thought that
the panels reflected a very impressive cross-section of the music business,
and since they were so varied, I got more from some than from others.
And that seemed right to me. Every attendee should have found something,
somewhere, that was really rich and important for him to know.
We were all
truly amazed at Michael's illuminating description of a well-meaning
TAXI critique that actually brought a retaliatory death threat from
a member! How bizarre, although nothing would surprise me anymore.
When some of
the convention members began to grouse, I was reminded that back in
the third grade, no kid who ever got an "A" ever complained. The only
ones who bitched were those with lesser grades. And each time someone
complained, the teacher always had the identical answeryou didn't
do your homework!
changed. With TAXI, you have to learn to read the Industry Listings
very carefully. If the listing says, "major producer looking for up
tempo mega-hit for new singer a la Jim Jones," by God, you had better
know who Jim Jones is. And if not, you had better find out! Do your
damned homework! Often, it is the major producer himself who is doing
the actual TAXI screening.
TAXI burrito, since so many are submitted incorrectly, I began to wonder
if there is a correlation between an incorrectly packaged burrito and
the very music it contains. If you can't get the burrito right, can
anyone expect you to get the music right? Is TAXI a baby sitting service?
And then I wondered-if Beethoven wrote a sonata and mailed it to TAXI,
would he get the burrito right? Would Brahms? Would Irving Berlin? The
Beatles? I would think so.
At one of the
panels, I took note of some of the important songwriting tips given
by country music specialist and TAXI screener, Rex Benson: Songs are
not written, they're re-written. Make the hook the title of the songespecially
in country music. All roads lead to the title of the song. Don't write
songs about love; write them about life. Don't be an early settlerkeep
working at it. The song title is the reason the song has to be written.
And lastly, throw away your first hundred songs!
So what a thrill
it must have been for those two guys who sent in the song called "Little
Things." To have their cassette played anonymously, and to be judged
by the convention crowd, and to have the crowd burst into applause at
the end must have had them walking on air. Rex Benson's statement that
"this song will get cut" didn't hurt either. And that song was recorded
on an 8-track in a back bedroom in Utah with one of the guys doing the
vocals! Yes! It can be done!
It was disheartening
to see how few members indicated that they read Billboard at least once
a month. How can you expect to get anywhere In the music business if
you're not tuned in?
On the lighter
side, I did hear a good joke: A kid says to his parents, "when I grow
up, I want to be a musician." The parents replied, "you can't have it
I can't wait
for the TAXI Road Rally next year.
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